Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
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