Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
