This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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