I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize