Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Randomize
