you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
This is classic penis vs brain.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
