He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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