yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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