a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
