My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
