this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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