We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
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