Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
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