...so i touched it.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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