he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
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