Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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