Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize