So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
