So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
We need to get me chipped asap
Randomize
