I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
