My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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