Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
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