did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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