I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize