..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
