I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
My vagina is very pro this idea
Randomize
