So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize