I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
