he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Randomize
