I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize