69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
