Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
