I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
My liver just had a heart attack.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
