How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
