youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
He told me they were just razor bumps!
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Randomize
