I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
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