Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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