thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
