every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
