Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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