this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
