Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
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