I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
