woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
