She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
