I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Randomize
