I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
