my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
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