i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Randomize
