Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Randomize
