its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
