So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
