homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
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