Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
