Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Randomize
