he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
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