Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
