If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
