But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
