I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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