"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
your like the ambassador to my penis.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
