Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Randomize
