Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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