he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
