i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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