neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
