Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
