I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
