i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
