someone threw a dead crab at me
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
