i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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