how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
She even gives head with a lisp.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize