great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
