Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
