i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
