if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
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